


Maybe Not

by phantom_rain



Series: A Boss and a Badass [9]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff? Not so much here, angst lord strikes again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:15:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28155180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantom_rain/pseuds/phantom_rain
Summary: “Sasha wants…” Sasha pauses and worries her bottom lip. “She wants to be her. She wants to find The Boss again.”Ronda takes a shaky deep breath and shrugs before she remembers Shayna can’t see her. “I don’t know. I think we’re getting there, but I guess that’s kinda why I wanna talk about it. See where she is with everything..."Marriage is hard, and Sasha and Ronda find themselves looking in two completely different directions.
Relationships: Sasha Banks/Ronda Rousey
Series: A Boss and a Badass [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1722646
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

“ _And her opponent._

_Accompanied to the ring by Sasha Banks,_

_From Venice, California,_

_She is the Raw Women’s Champion!_

_The baddest woman on the planet!_

_‘Rowdy’ Ronda Rousey!”_

* * *

Sasha’s entire face screws up and she leans back halfway to avoid the kiss aimed at her lips. “Babe, no…” she rolls her eyes at the kicked puppy dog-like pout she receives in return. “You’re all sweaty and gross right now.” 

Ronda’s pout only seems to intensify. “I thought you like it when I’m all sweaty!” She tries to move in again only for Sasha to push somewhat firmly against her shoulders. This time, her pout is accompanied by a whine. “Sasha!” 

The two have just returned to their dressing room following Ronda’s match. It had been a good one, for the most part. Well, Sasha thinks it was a good one. She found herself spacing out on a few occasions, but judging by the crowd’s reaction and the fact Ronda won the match, she can only assume that it was a good one. 

“I can’t believe this,” Ronda clicks her tongue as she moves her hands out to rest at Sasha’s waist. “I come off an amazing win in front of all these people, while I’m at home might I add, and my wife doesn’t want anything to do with me. That’s gotta be the most crushing part of the night. Really. It hurts.” 

Once again Sasha finds herself rolling her eyes, but at the same time she’s unable to fend off the small smile that’s being slowly pulled out of her. “Stop, you know it’s not even like that.”

She then angles her head up just enough to place a gentle kiss on Ronda’s lips. For extra added effect, she makes sure to make a face at the salty taste. Her eyes linger on the championship over Ronda’s shoulder and her eyebrows furrow only briefly before she’s shaking her head and her smile returns. 

“You looked good tonight,” Sasha points out. 

Ronda playfully raises an eyebrow. “Only tonight?” 

Sasha gives her a swat. “You seriously can’t just accept a compliment. No, but really. You looked really good and...I’m proud of you.” She steps out of the embrace and moves across the room and over to the mirror where she begins gathering her makeup remover. “This will be your what? 2000th day?”

Behind her, Ronda rolls her eyes and eyes her belt for a moment before she’s setting it inside one of the cubbies across the room. “It’s 363 exactly.” 

“Gotta get to 365 before you turn into a pumpkin,” Sasha laughs as she takes a makeup wipe across her eyelids. 

“I’m not exactly chasing it but...it would be nice to get to,” she crosses the room and moves in behind Sasha where she stands in front of the mirror. She places her hands on either side of the counter and presses in close just as she rests her chin on Sasha’s shoulder. “You know...I know I wasn’t the only one who looked good tonight. There was a point during the match where I couldn’t take my eyes off you.” 

Sasha feels her cheeks go warm and even after two years of marriage, she still can’t fend off the autotrophic reaction from the way the words are just whispered in her ear. “I think I noticed that part too. That was right around the time Becky caught you in the jaw.”

Ronda huffs. “I didn’t feel it. It was like getting hit with a pillow. She hits like a bitch.” 

“Ronnie…”

“No, but seriously. You...you’re amazing and having you in my corner is always really awesome. You know that’s something I’ll never get tired of.” 

Sasha is thankful she had a read on their reflections from their placement in the mirror. As Ronda turns and begins placing a series of kisses against her neck, Sasha takes in how her own smile has faltered completely. As she stares at her own reflection, she’s slightly unnerved to see that she barely even recognizes herself. Her eyebrows are furrowed, her lips are pressed together in a small thin line, and her eyes lack their usual shine. Overall, she really does look like a complete stranger. It about matches how she feels like one. 

“Hey.”

“Hm?” Sasha raises her eyebrows and her eyes adjust in the mirror to find Ronda looking back at her. 

Ronda frowns and maneuvers Sasha in her arms to where they are once again facing each other. Her eyes search Sasha’s faces before narrowing slightly. “What’s the matter?”

Sasha is quick to shake her head. “Nothing. Why?”

“You’ve got that look. The one where you’re thinking about something extra hard. What’s going on?” 

“Babe. Everything’s fine. Just thinking about all the stuff we’ve got coming up, not to mention, people are probably gonna be clambering over each other for interviews the moment we leave this room. Nothing’s wrong. Just thinking about the stuff up ahead.” 

Ronda isn’t at all convinced, and she knows very well she’s correct in feeling as such. If she’s the baddest woman on the planet, then her off is quite possibly the most stubborn woman on the planet. This was something Ronda had figured out even _before_ they had gotten married. Even to this day, she knows no amount of poking, prodding, and pleading will get her anywhere. She’s learned to let Sasha tell her whenever she’s ready. 

“Today’s been long. Sooo, I was thinking,” Ronda smiles lazily as she pulls Sasha in closer by her waist. “We take a quick shower here, but after we get back to the room, we’ll order room service, watch a little Netflix, _maybe_ a nice relaxing foot rub?” 

Sasha’s eyes have fallen shut and she hums quietly as she imagines the prospect of a quiet evening. “That sounds amazing actually,” she smiles at the lingering kiss placed just below her ear. “How about you work on getting clean, and I’ll start packing up some of our stuff? That way we can get out of here a lot sooner.” 

Ronda lifts her eyebrows mischievously. “Why Miss Banks, are you in a rush to get me out of here?” 

“No, but I heard Mrs. Rousey is pretty much sold on the idea,” Sasha places a quick kiss to Ronda’s chin before giving her a small shove. “You smell. Go shower and I’ll work on getting all our crap together.” 

“Yes ma’am,” Ronda steels another quick kiss before she’s quickly gathering her belongings for a shower. 

Once left alone, Sasha moves around the room, tidying and replacing items in their respective carrying cases. She’s just finished zipping her makeup back and as she moved to put everything back in her suitcase, something catches her eye. 

In one of the cubbies, Ronda’s belt stares back at her almost like it has a mind of its own. Sasha reaches out and carefully lifts it and the weighted feeling in her hand leaves behind a feeling of melancholic nostalgia. Alongside the tag and NXT, it’s a title she’s held proudly, and as her fingers trace over the jewels, she can’t help but ache at the familiarity. 

Having made quick work of packing, Sasha takes it upon herself to wander from the dressing room. She doesn’t have any particular destination in mind. She just knows she needs a second to take a walk as things started to get a little bit too stuffy for her liking. 

She’s just rounded a corner when she recognizes familiar voices down the hall. As she gets closer, her eyebrows raise as she takes in the two women at the other end of the hall. That in itself isn’t what’s surprising. No. What’s surprising are the identical championships draped over their shoulders. 

“What in the…” Sasha blinks once, twice, then three times. “Did you guys...win?”

“No, we stole these,” Charlotte responds before rolling her eyes. 

Sasha opens and closes her mouth several times before she settles on simply shaking her head. “You...you won? How did you win!?” 

“Trust me, I’m still asking myself the same question,” Bayley huffs quietly and folds her arms. 

“Hey! You don’t wanna be partners with me?”

“I don’t actually.”

“Well. The feeling’s mutual. I prefer to fly solo anyway.” 

“No, you prefer anything that’ll get you a nice gold star next to your name.”

“...true.” 

Sasha can’t say she isn’t happy for them. In fact, she’s always going to be over the moon when it comes to seeing the ones she loves garner success. But for some reason she does a terrible time at fending off that same sting she felt back in her dressing room. This time, it somehow sits even more heavy than the last. 

“Sash, you alright?” 

That’s not the first time this evening she’s been caught zoning out and given her track record of the night, it’s probably not going to be the last. “Huh?”

Charlotte and Bayley share a look before regarding their friend carefully. 

“You seem like you’re kinda out of it.” 

Sasha opens her mouth, but once again it’s as if the words have a hard time forming, much less making an actual exit from her mouth. The sickly familiar ache in her stomach only seems to be intensifying by the second, and to ward it off she does her best to smile. Even internally, she can feel that it’s more of a grimace, and her shoulder slump in defeat.

“I think I’m just a little tired. Things have been kinda crazy lately. Ronda’s been doing a lot of press and I’ve been traveling with her.” 

Bayley lit up immediately. “Oh my god, yeah! I just watched your guys’ thing, what was it, Buzzfeed?” 

Sasha laughs quietly. She’s right, as of late there had been a lot, and she means _a lot_ , of press to be done. One of those stents had definitely included a sit down with Buzzfeed for one of those ‘how well do you know your significant other’ type deals. It was funny and wholesome and overall, Sasha did find it to be somewhat of a good time, but she can’t lie and say on several occasions she didn’t find herself trying to force feed a smile. It was something that had been true for a lot of the so called “press tour”. 

“You guys have been together how long and Ronda still doesn’t know your coffee order?”

Sasha’s thoughts are interrupted by Charlotte’s deadpan humor. She snorts quietly herself before shaking her head. “I might’ve cheated a little bit on that one. She remembered _one_ of them, but it just wasn’t the one I had written down at the time.” 

The trio shares a light laugh and drifts on to light conversation. Jokes are shared here and there, and as Sasha watches two of her best friends banter back and forth, her eyes keep drifting to the tag titles they both hold. For a second, her gaze drifts back to the very first time she won those belts. Alongside Bayley, she had felt like she was near standing atop the world. Almost like a movie playing in her mind, she thinks about her monumental reign in NXT and then to the most defining moment of her career, the very first time she hoisted the Raw Women’s Championship, the very title she’s held multiple times with pride.

“Sash, are you sure you’re okay?”

This time it’s Charlotte who asks straight up and Sasha knows she should probably find away to escape as she can only avoid _that_ line of questioning for so long. 

“I’m sure. Like I said, I’m just tired. I’ve ah, got a signing in the middle of the week so I’m just anticipating that.” 

Charlotte’s eyes narrow and she and Bayley once again share a look. “You should focus on getting some rest then. Especially if you’re gonna be doing the proverbial ‘smile and say cheese’ gig for hours. Where’s it at?” 

“Memphis. Becky’s scheduled at the same time, so we’re just gonna room together.” 

Bayley snorts. “Good luck with that headache. She snores.” 

“So does Charlotte.”

“That’s true. If you can sleep through _that_ , you can pretty much sleep through someone setting off fireworks in your ears.”

“Okay, fuck you both.”

Sasha laughs openly at the harsh glare sent her way. “You know we still love you just the way you are. Death rattle and all,” she takes a step back to dodge the swipe Charlotte takes at her. She giggles for a few more seconds before her smile softens. “I’m serious though. I’m proud of you guys. I’ll catch up later, yeah?”

“Let us know if you need anything! Try not to kill Becky while you guys are on the road.” 

Sasha rolls her eyes. “If she gives me a reason to, Ronda will probably get to her before I can even get a chance.”

* * *

The middle of next week finds Sasha seated to one side of the SUV, tucked into the corner as if she’s attempting to take up as little space as possible. Truth be told, it’s due to the high tension she’s been carrying in her shoulders and back for god only knows how long now. Her posture is stiff and rigid as she continues to stare at her phone in her lap. 

“Say Boss, you doing alright over there?” 

Sasha blinks a few times and looks up to find Becky watching her with a soft look of concern from the other side of the car. “No yeah. Sorry, what were you saying?” 

Becky’s eyebrows furrow. “I wasn’t saying anything. You’ve just been kinda tight over there. Was just wanting to make sure there was nothing wrong.” 

Sasha bites down on her bottom lip hard and sighs heavily before letting the back of her head thump against the car seat. “Am I washed up?” 

This time, Becky frowns outright at the otherwise ridiculous statement. “Sorry, what?” 

“Just, tell me. Am I washed up?”

“Sash, I, what!? What kinda question is that!? No, I can answer that myself. It’s a ridiculous one. Why the hell would you think you’re washed up?” 

Sasha groans audibly. “I don’t know. Just lately I’ve been feeling…” _lost? Forgotten? Like an accessory?_ “I don’t know. I just haven’t been feeling like myself lately. I guess it’s just all the media press huh?” 

The corners of Becky’s lips tug downwards as she knows she detected a lie somewhere, she just can’t exactly pick up on where. “You have been doing a lot of press lately. Ever thought about taking a break?” 

Sasha is immediately shaking her head. “I feel like what I need is the opposite of a break…”

Before she can elaborate further, the SUV slows to a stop amidst a venue that has a crowd contained outside by steel barricades. Even from inside the car, Sasha feels the cheers and the energy, and the feeling is almost akin to a tiny jolt of electricity. She chooses to leave off her train of thought for now as she gives one last glance at her phone to take a peek at the latest message to come through. 

_'Go make a lot of people happy today. I love you.’_

Sasha’s smile is tiny and her fingers hesitate for a moment before she’s typing out a quick response. Finally, she tucks her phone into her purse and takes a deep breath before regarding Becky with a much more convincing smile.

“Ready?” 

Becky nods and pops out of the backseat while holding the door open with much exaggerated gusto. “Bosses first!” 

Sasha rolls her eyes and gives her friend a light shove, taking time to offer the waiting fans a wave as she trails behind security leading the way inside. 

* * *

Things had started off fine for the most part. Sasha had found her natural energy as she greeted eager fans of all ages. She posed for pictures. She signed photos and merchandise and even a face. She’d laughed at fun filled impersonations and listened with a warm heart at personal stories. It had been fun and it had been light. 

That had been the first hour. 

By the second, everything had began to change. 

Sasha began to notice a trend and with each passing minute, her smile seemed to be fading more and more by the second. 

_'You and Ronda are so awesome!’_

_‘Is Ronda here with you?’_

_‘Do you think Ronda can sign this too?’_

_‘What’s your favorite part about working with Ronda?’_

Sasha has done her best to respond to each question politely and to the best of her ability. What makes it even harder is there’s no ill will or malice coming from anywhere. They’re all genuine questions from genuine fans and somehow, that leaves some sort of vice sitting around her stomach. 

It’s the third hour and she’s just shaken the everlasting cramp out of her hand when a girl who looks no older than sixteen approaches her table. She does her best to smile, posing for pictures and signing the girl’s replica title she has passed across the table. It isn’t until the girl Sasha one final thing that hits Sasha like a ton of bricks. 

“You were my favorite in NXT.” 

It’s like everything suddenly comes crashing in and Sasha has to work physically to keep her smile in place. Bidding the girl a bid and a quiet ‘thank you’, she’s immediately checking to see if the line has died down enough for her to make an escape. Seeing that she’s gotten though her queue for now, Sasha discretely slips away from her table and heads off in the direction of what she hopes is a bathroom. 

She colors herself thankful that it’s empty as she makes a beeline for the sink and braces her hands against the counter. She ducks her head and takes several deep breaths before risking a glance at herself. What she finds, is nearly enough to have her grimacing and looking away. 

The corners of her mouth have apparently slipped down as far as they can possibly go. Her jaw is tight. Her eyes look cold and empty, and as she tries to smile, she’s only left with a mirror image of the fakest, most pathetic thing she’s ever seen. 

“What happened to you?” She asks the reflection carefully, slowly shaking her head as she does so. 

The toilet flushes somewhere behind her and she immediately straightens up, reaching for a paper towel to dab at her eyes that have threatened to become just a bit damn underneath her bottom lids. As the sink next to her turns on, she risks a glance to the woman at her right, startling internally when she finds the most powerful woman in the woman staring right back. 

“Afternoon, Sasha.” Stephanie’s voice is as smooth as it is curious as she carefully regards Sasha. 

“Hey.” Sasha does her best to offer a smile, but like many others, this one doesn’t reach her eyes. 

This has Stephanie raising an eyebrow in interest as she tilts her head slightly. “Everything alright? Not everyday one finds The Boss hiding out in a public bathroom.”

Sasha laughs quietly. “I mean, I guess I could say the same.” It’s then that her minuscule smile fades and her shoulders drop. “Or I guess you could say I was in here looking for The Boss. If you find her, feel free to let me know.” 

This time, both of Stephanie’s eyebrows shoot up, only this time in complete surprise. She’s not particularly used to the melancholic aura that’s presently surrounding the usually eccentric woman, and if anything it’s just about thrown her for a loop. 

“Okay…” she tries carefully before casually leaning a hip against the counter. “It’s just me here. I’m all ears if you want to speak on it.”

While they’re not close, they’re not strangers either and perhaps that’s just what Sasha needs right now. “Guess I just haven’t felt like myself for a long time. My last match was I don’t know when and I’ve just been kind of there for Ronda in the meantime…” she trails off and immediately backtracks. “Not that I have a problem with it! I love being there to support her, I just…” 

“You’ve got your own career to think about,” Stephanie finishes off with finality. 

Thankful she didn’t have to outright say it, Sasha just nods. “Guess I’ve just been in need of something different.”

Hummingly quietly, Stephanie only examines Sasha for a moment with inquisitive eyes. The hunched posture, disappointed lit, defeated tone; its everything opposite of what she’s come to know about one of the most captivating individuals to ever step foot inside a ring. 

“Well, I can’t make any guarantees but I can only make an offer,” Stephanie begins, waiting until Sasha looks up at her before she continues. “As I’m sure you know the title on Smackdown is vacant. A tournament will be held. Something like a gauntlet or a beat the clock. We haven’t decided which yet, but…one of our entrants had to drop out due to medical concerns. That leaves us with a spot to fill in the next forty eight hours.” 

Sasha’s eyes go wide as she processes the offer. “Jesus, that’s soon. I don’t know—”

“Hey, just think about it.” Stephanie slips her hands into her coat pockets before shrugging casually. “You said you were thinking different, right? This is plenty different.”

“I guess…”

“You’ve got my number, my email. Call, text, email, whatever you feel is best. Just think about it.” 

Sasha opens her mouth to respond, but her words don’t come. Instead, her mouth closes with a soft click and she nods silently as she’s left alone in the bathroom with nothing but silence and a weighted decision. 

* * *

“So...what’re you gonna do?” 

Sasha worries her bottom lip and shakes her head. She’s sitting criss cross on her bed, halfway slumped against the headboard as she continues to play with her hands in her lap. “Fuck. I don’t know.” 

From over on her own bed, Becky simply raises her eyebrows as she watches her best friend do her best impression of an absent ghost. “Sounds like it’s a big decision.”

Sasha nods, before she stops herself and shakes her head. “It is, but it isn’t. They just need a spot to fill and there’s no saying I’m gonna win the thing anything. I haven’t had a match in I don’t know how long, I don’t even know who all is in it, and Smackdown is in two days. I really haven’t been given anytime to prepare.” 

Becky scoffs and puts her arms behind her head. “Please. You’re Sasha Banks. I’ve seen you work with less.”

Sasha rolls her eyes and this time a playful smile threatens to tug at her lips. “Don’t…” she says gently before sighing. “I just don’t know, Becks.” 

“Well, what harm can it do? I mean, you just said you haven’t had a match in a while. So...here’s a match. Why’re you thinking about running from what you want?”

“Because I don’t know how this would effect things if…” Sasha cuts herself off and sighs again. “I haven’t brought it up to Ronda yet.”

Becky raises her eyebrows in interest. “You gonna?” 

“I don’t know, because I haven’t decided what I’m even gonna do yet!” 

“Well...what do you want to do? _You_. Barring everything else, outcomes or whatever, what does _Sasha_ want to do?” 

“Sasha wants…” Sasha pauses and worries her bottom lip. “She wants to be her. She wants to find The Boss again.” 

Becky doesn’t respond, but instead watches her friend while sporting an encouraging grin. “Well then, it sounds like The Boss may need to be giving the _boss_ a call.” 

“Yeah…” Sasha whispers quietly as her phone silently taunts her from where it lay in the center of the mattress. She reaches for it, her fingers brushing against cool metal before she’s snatching her hand back. She takes another deep breath before she reaches for it again, this time grasping it firmly in her hold as she brings it towards her.

“Maybe she does…” 

* * *

“So...we’re coming over.”

“No, you are _not_ coming over!”

“Well why not!?” 

“Because!” Ronda huffs irritably and glares down at her phone as if the device itself is at fault for the irritant on the other line. If anything, it her fault for answering the damn thing in the first place. “Because I’ve got plans.”

From the other end of the line is a long drawn out sigh followed by Shayna’s signature whine. “We’ll change ‘em. Jess is in town and we _know_ you’ve got time off. What would be a more perfect time to get drunk and be assholes?” 

Ronda scoffs and rolls her eyes. “You don’t need to be drunk to be an asshole,” she mumbles, smirking as she can practically imagine the look she’s getting in response. “I’m serious, I’ll make it up to you guys, but it’s gotta be some other time. I’ve got—”

“Plans, plans, yeah I know. What’s so important that you can’t make time for your best friends? The best on the planet? What’s more important than that?” 

“...my wife?” 

“...okay yeah, well. When you bring her up, I mean I guess…” 

Ronda laughs quietly as she moves through her living room and flops down into the sofa. “You know I love you guys, but you know how rare time off is and I wanna do something special for Sasha. It’s been a while since we got to spend quality time together, just the two of us, you know?” 

Shayna makes a gagging noise. “Don’t you two room together when you travel? Don’t act like you haven’t spent ‘quality time’ with each other on the road.”

“You know what I meant! Real quality time. Away from work and cameras and just I don’t know, be people again? We haven’t had a date in a while so I’ve got something planned for that. I just wanna take her out and maybe, I don’t know...talk about where we’re headed, I guess.” 

Shayna ‘ooos’ quietly. “Oooh, we’re getting into that deep talk territory, huh?” 

Even though she’s alone, Ronda finds herself blushing. “Yeah, something like that. Start talking about the future and shit.” 

It’s true. It’s something that’s been on her mind for a while now, and she’s honestly been searching for the right time to bring it up. It’s seemed almost next to impossible to find time in between the hustle and bustle of their work life balance. Now that she has the time, she’s been carefully going over things in her head so as to not make an ass of herself accidentally. 

Ronda’s thoughts are interrupted by Shayna laughing. “You really are a soft ass, you know that?” She quickly continues on when Ronda frowns and is about to cut in. “I don’t mean that in a bad way. It’s actually kinda cute. You think you guys are ready for that?” 

Ronda takes a shaky deep breath and shrugs before she remembers Shayna can’t see her. “I don’t know. I think we’re getting there, but I guess that’s kinda why I wanna talk about it. See where she is with everything. Obviously it’s gonna be a mutual decision, you know? Not that I’m looking for a decision this weekend, I just kinda wanna test the waters.”

“Well can you make me one promise?”

“What’s that?”

“Whatever you two decide, I get dibs on being the favorite aunt and godmother.” 

Ronda chokes on air and splutters for a second before she’s once again sending a glare at her phone. “Oh my _god_ , you are so annoying!” 

“Hey! I’m just trying to get my bid in early. You know how those others are. Fucking helicopters. If I say it now then that means they won’t have any arguments.” 

Ronda rolls her eyes. “Because that’s totally gonna stop them, an unofficial agreement.” She shakes her head. 

“Listen, it’s better than no agreement,” Shayna states proudly before turning serious. “Seriously though. Enjoy your time with your lady. When’s Sasha coming back?” 

“Ah, she has a flight home tomorrow is what she told me when I talked to her earlier. She had to stay and do an extra press thing I guess.”

“Sweet. Tell her I said hi. When Jess gets in we’ll be sure to call you and bug you like the good humans we are. That is if you’re not busy, you know, deep in—”

“Okay, do _not_ even finish that. I’m hanging up.”

“Love ya, Rowdy!” 

Ronda only shakes her head as the call ends. Despite the teasing, a fond smile plays at her face because she knows her best friend means well, even though she has a habit of always saying things in the most ‘Shayna’ way possible. Being honest with herself, she really wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Her smile goes soft as her thoughts drift to her wife and the weekend she has planned. She reaches for her phone and glances at the time before doing a quick time zone conversation her head as she opts to call. They had spoken a little bit earlier, and Ronda had immediately picked up on how tired Sasha had sounded even over the phone. Without disclosing too much about their weekend, Ronda had promised that it’d be worth once she made it home. 

A tiny frown creases her forehead as the call rings until it goes to voicemail. With how Sasha is usually glued to her phone, the only time it ever goes to voicemail is if it’s dead completely. Even when she’s out of town, Sasha never much allows a call to slip past her. 

Humming quietly, Ronda shrugs it off and waits a few moments before she tries again. Meanwhile, she has the television remote in her other hand as she casually flips through channels. She’s not particularly on the hunt for something specific, and most time she finds enough entertainment in channel surfing anyway. 

_“—welcome back to Friday Night Smackdown, and Corey, what a surprise it is to see The Boss.”_

_“A surprise indeed, Michael. Sasha Banks, making her presence known in the gauntlet. She’s always ready to put her money where her mouth is, and from what we’ve seen tonight Cole? My money’s on The Boss.”_

As Sasha’s voicemail continues to ramble on I’m her ear, Ronda’s eyes are wide as they remain glued to the woman in question. The woman on her television. Her _wife_ on her television who is currently locking in a tight Bank Statement on Dana Brooke. 

Ronda blinks almost dumbly as her phone hands up the fall on its own after not having left a voicemail. She silently stares at it and her fingers dumbly hover over the call button again. With the television still playing as background noise, she opts to open Twitter instead. 

_‘Best kept secret. Sasha in the gauntlet? Let’s gooooo!’_

_‘They might as well send everybody else home at this point #bossbluebelt’_

_‘This is better than any rumble surprise’_

Ronda doesn’t scroll much further. She can’t. In her mind she’s too busy trying to make sense of things. If Sasha had told her sure was competing while she was out of town. She would have remembered. Being told Sasha was competing for the _title_ on the _opposite brand?_ She sure as hell would’ve remembered _that_. 

The bell ringing from the television startles Ronda more than it should and if possible, her eyes widen even further. 

_“—and the new Smackdown Women’s Champion!”_

Ronda slowly shakes her head as the words from the television filter in and out.

_“Corey!”_

_“Oh my god don’t say it!”_

_“It’s...BOSS TIME! Welcome to Friday nights!”_

_“I will say this, Cole. Survivor Series just got a hell of a lot more interesting.”_

Swallowing thickly, Ronda can’t take her eyes off the woman on her screen. The tears in her eyes and at her cheeks as she clutches the blue belt tightly and raises it high above her head. On any normal occasion she would be leaping from the couch, and yet…

Ronda’s next movements are rigid as she springs from the couch. She’s quickly shoving her feet into her boots and slipping into her jacket because she’s storming towards the front door. Stopping to only grab her wallet and her keys, she’s left huffing to herself as she opens the door and lets it slam behind her. 

* * *

“Champ! Champ! Champ! Champ!”

“Will you be quiet!” Sasha playfully hisses to Becky who’s causing quite the stir in the hallway of their hotel. 

Becky throws up her hands in surrender. “Hey, forgive me for being happy for ya! Besides, I’m just mad, despite my efforts, you’re not drunk!”

Sasha scoffs and rolls her eyes. “I can’t get drunk. I have a flight in the morning.” 

“Shit, so do I! It’ll make it a hell of a lot easier to sleep, don’t ya think?” Becky gives Sasha’s shoulder a nudge. “Hey seriously though, I’m really fucking happy for you. What’d I tell you?”

“That anything can fucking happen,” Sasha repeats quietly. She falls silent for a moment as if she appears to be taking everything in. “It’s crazy isn’t it? How something can just fall in your lap and end up...like this?”

Becky raises her eyebrows. “Crazy!? It’s fucking _insane_! You went in, no idea who you were facing, no prep, no anything, and _won_. You ran the gauntlet and _won_ , Sash! That’s pretty fucking incredible. Not to mention, you’re the champ now!”

Sasha smiles but it immediately fades. “Yeah...the champ on Smackdown.” 

“Oh…” Becky’s excitement dies down as she immediately picks up on the shift in energy. “Well, yeah there is that. That does make things a bit…different. She know?” 

“There’s no way she doesn’t by now,” Sasha snorts sarcastically. “I didn’t...bring it up. I know I’ll need to call her tonight when we settle in.” 

“Uhhhhh, you might not have to…” 

Sasha, who’s gaze had fallen to the floor, frowns as she looks up at Becky who is staring at something down the hall. Following the other woman’s gaze, her own eyes immediately go wide as she spots a rather familiar figure leaning against the frame by their door just near the end of the hall. As they near closer, Sasha can practically feel the tension radiating in waves and the deep scowl she’s met with is enough to set a chill just at the base of her spine.

Sasha doesn’t know where to begin as she searches for her words. “I...Babe, hey.” 

Ronda’s jaw only pulls tighter and her glare immediately shifts from Sasha to the woman lingering just a few half steps back. Even Becky flinches under the look, and she knows when a silent directive is sent her way. Knowing it damn sure isn’t a time for one of her jokes, she clears her throat before she speaks quietly. 

“I’m gonna go check out the restaurant downstairs. See if it’s still so I can order a drink or something. Lemme know if you need anything, Sash.” 

Sasha only nods in response to Becky’s quietly retreating footsteps. She reluctantly breaks the silent stare down between her and her wife as she turns and uses her keycard to open the room. She holds the door open for a second, and when Ronda doesn’t immediately move, she sighs and chooses to enter first. 

“How’d you find our room?”

“Seriously? _That’s_ what you’re gonna start with? How I found the _fucking_ room?”

Sasha winces before her shoulders drop completely. “I was gonna tell you…” she mumbles, not knowing where else to begin. 

Ronda’s eyebrows raise impossibly high on her forehead. “You were gonna tell me?” She repeats, her tone in disbelief. “Was this supposed to be before or after you asked for a trade!?”

“I didn’t ask for a trade! It just happened.”

“Right, because these things totally just happen!”

“Well it did!” Sasha’s voice raises as she continues. “I was at my signing and I ran into Stephanie and she told me they needed a last second replacement for the match. It was all so last second! I didn’t plan any of this!” Her voice drops again. “I thought you’d be happy for me.” 

While Sasha’s voice drops back to an acceptable volume, Ronda’s only continues to raise. 

“Happy!? How am I supposed to be happy when you’re out here making decisions like this without even talking to me!” Ronda haphazardly gestures a hand towards the door. “Now I get here and I come back to you fucking partying it up with Lynch and you _still_ didn’t even fucking call me!” 

“Because I knew you’d act like this! God, Ronda you…” Sasha interrupts herself to shake her head. “You don’t even fucking get it, do you?” Her frown deepens as she straightens up and balls her fist. “For so long I’ve felt like I fucking lost myself and this was the first chance I had where I feel like I can make something happen there and I can rediscover my value. On Raw I just...” Sasha pauses and sighs. “I feel like I would be a shadow. I don’t even remember the last time I did something that was just _me_ and I don’t think that’s best for my career right now.” 

“Your career!?” Ronda’s voice goes up an octave, a telltale sign of her trying and failing to contain her emotions. “Sasha, we’re married! It’s already tough as is and we hardly spend any time at home together! You’re basically saying your career is more important than us right now!”

Sasha squares her jaw and for the first time the night, her look of guilt fades and it’s replaced by a hardened expression. “And you’re basically saying that your career is more important than mine.” 

Ronda freezes at the flat statement and shakes her head in disbelief. “What? I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to,” Sasha sighs. “Ronda, what’s the reason you want me on Raw?” 

“Because being on the same show, we’ll still fucking see each other.” 

“But why Raw? We could be together on Smackdown.” 

“Sasha you’re not making any sense,” Ronda groans as she feels a headache coming on. 

“I’m making perfect sense!” Sasha exclaims rather loudly. “You won’t say it either because you don’t want to or you don’t see anything wrong with it. You want me there because that’s what’s best for you right now. That’s where everything is working for _you_ right now. It’s where you get to be Ronda _fucking_ Rousey and show the fuck off with your longest three hundred and sixty-five whatever the fuck, and I’m stuck being your fucking accessory!” 

Ronda tilts her head back and groans once again. The two of them are no stranger to fights. No couple is, and especially when you have two individuals with very powerful personalities, it’s expected. But it’s never been like this. They’ve never stepped to one another and challenged each other in such a way where the volatility threatens to explode at any moment. 

“Oh my god, stop being dramatic. You’re not an accessory,” Ronda shakes her head, punctuating her sentence with an eye roll. 

Sasha’s eyes widen. “I’m not an accessory? Tell me then, what have I done for the past six months other than stand behind you!? While you around being the face of the fucking company, what have I done,” Sasha points a firm finger as she continues on. “I’ll tell you what I’ve done. Absolutely fucking nothing. I came out to your fucking music, stood there in your fucking T-shirt’s, went to your fucking interviews. I stood there and when people looked at me they saw ‘Ronda’s wife’. _That_ is how people looked at me and that is how I was written. Ronda’s. Wife.” 

Ronda slowly shakes her head in awe as if she can’t believe what she’s hearing. “So this is where we are then. We’re laying it all out in the open and as it turns out, I’m the problem. Sasha I have the fucking belt! Not to mention, you didn’t even say anything! What did you want me to fucking do!?”

“I don’t want you to do anything! I don’t need you to! I’m just thinking about the both of us! Baby, you’re in your prime right now and I’m so proud of you. You have goals and dreams and you’re reaching those. But I have goals too Ronda, and I think with where we both are right now I...I’ll be a shadow. I’ll be your shadow.”

Ronda clenches her fists tightly as she feels her hands begin to shake. Her jaw clenches so tight it almost hurts before she releases another long suffering sigh. “Everything you’ve said...it’s all work related. It’s like it’s got nothing to do with _us_. It’s got everything to do with this quest you have to add another trophy to the wall. To chisel your name into some pedestal that other people have already stepped on anyway.” She shakes her head again. “How’s it feel? To be chasing after something three people have already accomplished?” 

The question stings and Sasha immediately feels a heavy weight in her chest. If anything, this is what she hates most. How they both have the tendencies to let their tempers get away from them, so much so that they will stoop to the lowest of points. This is making itself known as one of those times, and Ronda’s weapon of choice appears to be a dream Sasha had mentioned a long time ago. 

“Don’t do that…” she murmurs quietly, shaking her head as the pain in her chest only seems to intensify. “It’s not about that.” 

Ronda raises her eyebrows mockingly. “It’s not? Then what else could it possibly be about? Because from where I’m standing, all you seem to care about is that. So now that you have it, now that you’re Grand Slam Banks, _fourth_ _best_ , how does it fucking feel?” She scoffs bitterly when she receives only silence as a response. “You can’t even answer me. Just like you couldn’t even be bothered to talk to me about it before you made the decision.” 

“Look at how you’re reacting! Can you blame me? You’re completely downplaying how _I_ feel about this. In fact, you haven’t even fucking _asked_. It’s almost like you expect me to just sit to the side and wait my turn while you do your thing,” Sasha pauses and scoffs. “If that’s the case, then why did you ask me to marry you?” 

“Why’d you say yes?” 

The weight of both questions leaves the room in a tense silence. For a long time, neither women speak as they continue to harshly stare at each other. Sasha recovers first. Shaking her head, her motions are tense but quick as she storms over to the door and swings it open with much more force than necessary. 

“Get out.” 

Her words are hoarse and quiet, the audible manifestation of the tears that have spilled out over her eyes. She doesn’t even look at her wife. Instead, her gaze remains glued to a spot somewhere near Ronda’s boots. Her grip on the door handle is tight as it’s the only stability near by that keeps the rest of her from visibly shaking. 

“Get out!” 

Ronda doesn’t say anything. Instead, she stuffs her hands into the pockets of her jackets and huffs audibly through her nose as she heads for the open door. On her way by, she just barely catches a glance at her wife out of the corner of her eye, long enough to take in the furious yet broken expression lingering on her back as she leaves. 

Sasha doesn’t even try to wait for a response or an explanation should it come. Instead, she slams the door with force, immediately slumping against it as the weight of the argument finally crashed down on her. A strangled noise gets caught in her throat before she eventually slides to the floor. Her tears pour and she wraps her arms tightly around her knees as she finally begins to sob. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I'm back with this one because I've just missed this series so much and yet...we all new a lil storm clouds in our lives, no? Heheheh, lemme know your thoughts! Thanks for reading :)


	2. Chapter 2

"What can we all say, other than wow!?"

The grin that finds Sasha's face is blinding and for the first time in so long, she _feels_ it and it all feels so surreal.

Her outfit is simple yet elegant. A black blazer with a deep blue undertone that shows off a subtle but still noticeable sparkle when it catches certain light. The skirt matches and it just stops at mid thigh, and her feet are strapped into a pair of stiletto sandals that sparkle with vibrant stones around the straps. Sitting atop her head is her token signature, _'BOSS'_ shades framed in silver while her new and most recently acquired accessory sits comfortably in her lap.

It's her first sit down since winning the title and she would be lying if she said she wasn't a tad bit nervous while preparing. Not that she was expecting to be asked anything ridiculous, but it's just been a _while_. She had spent time laughing to herself in her dressing room at how she had the butterflies in her stomach akin to the ones you'd feel on the first day of school. It left her feeling like a doe eyed rookie rather than a seasoned veteran.

"Thank you guys so much for tuning in, and we are here sitting with the one and only. The Legit Boss and the _new_ Smackdown Women's Champion, Sasha Banks. It really is an honor, and thanks so much for being here with us today."

"Thank you for having me," Sasha grins in response, laughing to herself internally how she forgot how some interviewers always somehow manage to come off as a bit overzealous near the beginning of the interview. It's almost as if they forget that they need to relax themselves as well as making their guests feel comfortable. She can only hope that sentiment remains the same from the woman sitting in the plush chair across from her.

The woman is wearing way too much foundation, not enough eyeliner and an overwhelmingly off shade of lipstick that doesn't match her skin tone. Sasha is thankful that she travels with her own makeup artist for this very reason so she isn't subjected to the poor unfortunate mishaps of whoever this woman's glamor artist is. The nerves on her are only amplified by the shotty makeup job and Sasha wants to shake her head in pity. Thankfully, the interview kicks off so she hopefully doesn't have to think about it anymore.

"I wanna take us back to that Friday. There's the vacant title and this huge match is announced weeks ago to determine a new champion. I'm sure I'm not even exaggerating when I say that the world was stunned to see The Boss make an entrance. Especially since you've been one of the main faces on Monday nights. Can you kinda walk us through what that looked like? Did you have any idea?"

Sasha adjusts her belt in her lap as she laughs. "I actually had no idea. I was kind of put in as a last second replacement due to another injury, and I kid you not when I say I found out about the match not even two days before."

"Two days!? That's insane! How did you prepare for that?"

"Honestly, I didn't have a lot to go on. I didn't know who all was in the match so I didn't know who I was prepping for. Not to mention I've only been in a gauntlet once my whole career. I managed to sneak in some training in the short amount of time I had to prep. From there it was just the decision to kind of, go with instinct I guess."

It wasn't even a full day of training seeing as she didn't want to burn herself out. There was definitely some ring rust and she had some help in the form of one Becky Lynch who offered to stay behind and help her work through shaking some of the cobwebs off. It had been a while since her last much, much less her last _singles_ match, and she needed the time to remind herself that she actually did know how to wrestle.

The interviewer smiles wide. "That's incredible. No notes, no cheat sheets, you just went out there and did your thing and I'm sure you aren't complaining about the result. This one though...this one's gotta be just a little bit special right? You're a multi-time women's champion, and this one makes...grand slam champion? Talk to us a little bit about how that feels."

Sasha's eyes threaten to fall downcast for a moment before she quickly recovers. "Oh wow..." she sighs almost wistfully. "It's something that I've been saying over and over again in my mind and it's almost like I still don't believe it, you know? It's a goal I've had from the very beginning; that I wanted to go out there with the best of the best and _be_ the best. I wanted to prove what makes me The Boss and I've done that." As she pauses, her smile widens. "And to do it alongside other amazing women. My best friends, Bayley and Charlotte. To do it alongside a warrior like Asuka. All of those women are the top of the mountain, and to stand with them and hold that honor, it's just so surreal to me. So yeah, heh, I guess you could say this one is a little special."

"So what's the plan now? Now that you'll be headlining Friday nights?"

Sasha senses there's a deeper meaning to that question, and she carefully tiptoes around it. "Exactly that. Headlining. Reminding everyone just why I am who I say I am and making sure no one forgets that." _Myself included._

The woman nods. "Trust me, after your last performance, it definitely won't be something any of us are forgetting any time soon." There's a short pause before she continues. "So I have to ask, because I'm sure it's the question on everyone's mind now. Survivor Series is coming up fast and we all wanna know, how much are you looking forward to that?"

Even though she pretty much knew the question would come up in one way another, it still leaves a feeling in her stomach like an anvil had just been dropped there. It takes everything in her not to grimace and flinch physically, as she is left with a similar bitter aftertaste that reminds her of that volatile exchange in her hotel room. Her heart begins beating quickly as her mind scrambles for a response.

"Well, it's definitely gonna be something to prepare for," she says around what she hopes is a convincing smile. "I'm always looking forward to a match that will challenge me."

"And I'm sure there's more challenges here than just one, right? If you don't mind me asking..."

Sasha internally shakes her head and steels herself for the question. Nothing ideal ever comes from a question that starts with 'if you don't mind me asking'. It's pretty much like someone is just asking and then granting themselves permission to poke into something personal.

"Between you and Ronda, there's pretty much a shopping list of accomplishments. I gotta ask, and it doesn't happen often, but do you two like facing each other in the ring?"

This time, Sasha _knows_ there's a minor slip in her smile and she can only hope that no one is watching her closely enough to have noticed it. "Ronda and I both love the competition. Some of our best matches have been with each other and I doubt this one will be any different."

"That's awesome to hear. I know everyone is waiting on that match. Does it make it easier or just that much harder, since you both know each other so well?"

"Ah, it's...a bit of both if that makes sense. You would think it's easy right? Oh she's gonna do this there, and that here, but that actually makes it that much harder because I have to think about 'okay, what can I do different that she won't see it coming'. I find myself having to adapt more and more, especially with her because she's always been such a fast learner. I think I'm doing something new and it turns out she's already two moves ahead."

"I'm sure that's part of the fun though, right? Haha, are there any extra side wagers going along with this match? Anything like, whoever loses has to do all the laundry for a month, or anything like that?"

Sasha snorts and shakes her head. "No no, there's nothing like that..."

Not this time at least. There had definitely been silly stuff like that attached to their matches of the past. There was one particular tag match where Sasha was tagging with Charlotte and Ronda with Bayley where they had a little side competition and the result of that ended with Sasha getting her breakfast served in bed for a whole month.

This time though, was drastically different as they haven't even been speaking. A lot of that can be attributed to Sasha not having been home seeing as she's been in between appearances, interviews, and shoots just following her win. There were two total days that she's been at home and they were two of the coldest days she's ever spent in her own house. Ronda had spent most of the day either locked away in the office or out tending to those damn chickens while at night she opted to sleep in one of the guest rooms, leaving Sasha alone in their bed. The most they really said to each other was 'yeah' after Sasha had stepped out in a limb and asked if they had any milk. Ronda had simply opened the fridge and sat the carton in the counter before she silently left the kitchen.

"It'll be tough, for sure but...I'll be ready."

Sasha puts on what she hopes is another convincing smile and she's never been more thankful that the interview is soon called for a break. She murmurs something about being just a moment as she quickly heads off to the nearest rest room. Thankfully, it's one of those single rest rooms where she's left to lock the door behind her and be left in total peace.

She reaches into her jacket pocket and pulls out her phone. As she goes to unlock it, her gaze falls to her wedding ring. Her thumb gently brushes over the jewels and she heaves a shaky breath that threatens to turn into a sob. Her eyes have began to water and as she blinks rapidly to deter any tears, the longer she stares at her ring, she feels that she's never been more afraid.

* * *

The mug is drained in three to four gulps before it's slammed back into the table with a resounding thud. Ronda sighs before all but slumping back into her chair, her grip still tight around the handle of her glass as she stares into it despite the fact it's just been emptied. Across from her she makes out two blurred incarnations of what she's pretty sure are people, and she raises her eyebrows as they only stare back in silence.

"Wha..." she mumbles, motioning for a head tilts but instead her head just lulls to the side.

Across from her, the two women glance at each other and then back, only blinking silently as her unfocused gaze stares back at them.

"Jesus Christ..."

"Yup...and it's been like this, too."

Jessamyn's eyebrows slowly creep upward as her eyes dart between Shayna and the woman across the table who _looks_ like Ronda Rousey, but honestly she can't be too sure. A shell would probably be a more accurate depiction. "Jesus Rowdy..."

Across the table, Ronda rolls her eyes. "You guys are assholes," she mumbles, flipping both of them the bird before she makes an attempt to stand from her chair. Her balance shifts and she ends up haphazardly tipping to one side, nearly falling out of the chair entirely. When she looks up, she finds her friend still watching her closely, and she all but growls as she tries to regain some of her pride from nearly falling over.

"Fuck you guys."

As Ronda stumbles off towards towards the kitchen counter, Shayna sighs quietly and begins rubbing her eyes. "She's been like this, dude. She's drunk and I don't even think she knows it."

Jess slowly shakes her head as they continue to watch their friend sloppily dig through the fridge, only to produce a beer can a few moments later. "What the hell's she drunk for?"

"She and—"

"Mind your own business Shayna!"

The slurred shout is succeeded by a crash and a curse and the two look over to find Ronda fuming at a now empty beer can that has its contents spilled out across the counter. She huffs and swipes at the can, successfully knocking it off the counter and sending it across the room with a clatter. She only watches as it bounces pitifully before rolling across the wood floor. There's a few moments of silence before she inhales sharply, and the exhale is shaky as her legs clumsily carrier her back to her chair. She slumps into the chair and stares blankly at the table she's dropping her head into her hands.

"I don't wanna get divorced guys." Ronda's are slurred around something that sounds like a cross between a heave and a groan, and while it's nearly next to indecipherable, the others somehow understand her perfectly.

"Whoa whoa, wait a second..."

"Divorced!? Ronnie, c'mon..."

"I'm serious!" Ronda drags her hands away from her face to reveal glassy, reddened eyes. "You guys don't get it. Everything got so bad so quick and it's _my fuckin' fault_ and she knows that. She fuckin' knows it, man."

Again, the other two share a look as Ronda continues rambling and she appears to be transitioning between talking to them and talking to herself. Shayna throws her hands up in what appears to be resignation and it's Jess who makes the decision to reach out and try to rationalize with their drunk companion.

"You know we're here to help, right? Anyway we can, we've both got your back. But you know none of us speak in riddles here. You gotta tell us what's going on."

Ronda's jaw trembles and it's clear that even in her drunken state that she's in the process of remembering something. The anger she had felt that night had been unmatched to anything she's ever felt in her entire life. The worst part of it? She wasn't sure where it had been entirely directed. Sure she had been angry with Sasha for shutting her out, especially regarding such a monumental decision that's going to have such a great effect on their life. She felt blindsided and she felt betrayed. Even as she sat alone in her own hotel, while she was still angry with her side, she came to the realization that she was furious at herself for being the one to completely miss it. She felt nothing short of shame as everything was laid out in front of her and she realized that she should've seen it all sooner.

Explaining all of that to her friends doesn't prove to take any weight off her shoulders as she's once again left to feel like she's drowning in her own inebriated thoughts.

"We haven't been talking since then. She was home for a little bit and we just..." Ronda trails off and shakes her head. "We got that stupid pay per view coming up. That stupid match. It's all so fucking stupid. I said some shitty things, guys. Some real shitty things and it's not 'cause I wanted to! I just got so mad."

Ronda had sat in her own hotel room that same night. Not having slept, she spent the duration of the night with her back pressed against the side of the bed as she stared bleakly at her phone in her lap. It had remained silent and unused for the duration of the night and despite her consistent urge to pick it up and use it, she hadn't. Because at the time, her pride had gotten to her and lead her to believe that she wasn't the one who needed to be making that call.

"We've fought before, but why's this time feel like it's different?"

When the other share a look this time, it's Jess who knows she's probably going to have to take up the role of 'voice of reason', especially with the way Shayna keeps shrugging like she doesn't know anything. It's enough to make Jess almost reach over and clock her in the back of the head, hopefully to rid her of some of that passiveness, but she refrains. Instead, she gently knocks on the table to get Ronda's attention from where she's no doubt starting to drift off again.

"Alright, look. I know this is gonna sound like I'm offering an easy answer to a complicated problem, but it really sounds like a talk needs to be had here."

Ronda groans. "I really don't wanna talk about it anymore..."

Jess rolls her eyes. "I don't mean with _us_. I mean with your Mrs. Seems like the two of could benefit from doing some listening. Ya know, _actual_ listening."

"Yeah instead of just all the yelling." Shayna tacks on. When Ronda sends her a sharp look, she opts to shrug for the nth time. "Hey look, don't act like I haven't heard you two go at it before. Remember when you guys first moved into this place? And I stayed for a weekend?"

Uncharacteristic to her current mood, Ronda snorts as she recalls exactly what Shayna's referring to. Ronda may or may not have forgotten about a handful of household chores because she'd been more excited to just hangout. That hadn't sat well with Sasha who stewed about it for a little bit before she opted to let Ronda know about it vocally. Anyone would be morally embarrassed to have anyone, much less their best friend, hear their wife scold them like they're a disobedient child. Ronda, who has always been a little more on the proud side, and only opted to match Sasha's energy and they were off to the races from there.

"Just, I dunno...Just talk to her? Let her know everything you've gotta say but also just, make sure you listen to what she's gotta say too."

Sighing heavily, Ronda slumps back in her chair. Behind her eyes is an incoming headache brought on by the ruthless combination of drinking and lack of sleep. Though she hears her friend's words and somewhere in her she knows they're right, but that doesn't make any of the things they suggested any easier, and that's what kinda worries her.

* * *

Survivor Series is one of the biggest pay per views of the year and the bustling state of the arena announced as such. Fans and superstars alike are all at exceeding levels of hyper, so much so that noise can be heard even in the deepest confines of backstage. Sasha, who has pretty much been pulled in about a thousand different directions for the past week, is quite thankful for the moment's peace she's granted while alone in her dressing room.

Her match is next, and for Sasha, it's all akin to feeling like she did the very first time she stepped into a ring on a big stage. The nerves in her stomach are unmatched and despite having walked herself through several breathing routines, she still finds herself slightly shaking. In truth, she wants to laugh at herself for feeling so anxious about it.

Donning all of her entrance accessories, Sasha takes a deep breath before slipping her wedding ring from her finger. She stares down at the intricate piece, her thumbs tracing lightly over the jewels decorating the band. A soft smile tugs at the corner of her lips as she recalls the first time she ever saw the ring in its engagement variant. The moment she saw it and she knew that it was created especially for her, and while it's just a simple object at its core, the implications of the promise held within it had been enough to make her melt.

It had been holding onto that promise alone that had been enough to not send her into some form of a downward spiral. What still hasn't exactly been easy to deal with is the radio silence. The tense moments from the brief stint she was actually at home down to the dryness shared between text messages that had only been obligatory because they were just mundane and life related.

Letting out another sigh, she carefully secures her ring in her bag before turning back to her reflection in a mirror. "You've got this…" she mumbles quietly, her shoulders rising and falling as she continues to take several deep breaths. "You've got it…"

"Aye, Boss!"

Jolting at the sudden intrusion in her dressing room, Sasha's eyes immediately roll to the sky as she recognizes that voice immediately. She doesn't even both to turn away from her mirror, and instead, she offers a glare from the reflection. Her eyes narrow at the poor attempt at an innocent grin she receives in response.

"You do know that knocking is a thing, right?" Sasha drawls before turning her head just slightly over her shoulder. "What if I had been in the middle of changing?"

"Pfft! It's not like you've got anything I haven't seen before," Becky nonchalantly wafts a hand. A second passes and her eyes widen as she begins to quickly glance around the room. "Shit wait. Ronda's not in here, right?"

Sasha snorts and shakes her head. "You lucked out, she's not. She'd have choked you out by now, if she was." She turns from her vanity and leans against it before folding her arms. "She's on the red side of the arena. You know, where you're supposed to be?"

Becky clicks her tongue and wafts a hand again as she further saunters into the room. She takes a seat on the sofa lounge in the corner and kicks a boot up on the glass coffee table. "You know I'm not much of a rule follower."

"I can see that…" Sasha raises an eyebrow and nods in Becky's direction, no doubt referencing her traditional all black ring attire. "You could've have changed it up just a bit for the team, Becks? Everyone else did."

"Hey, I've got red hair."

"What a team player…" Sasha mumbles before turning back to her mirror to do a last-minute makeup check. "What're you doing here, anyways?"

Becky shrugs casually, throwing her arms over the back of the sofa as she reclines comfortably. "Bay and Charles have been going at it nonstop about who's the fuckin' 'team captain' and I think Asuka's about two seconds from letting them have it."

Sasha can't even choke back a laugh as she can clearly envision the argument taking place. "How those two managed to form a team and _win_ will forever be the question of the century."

"I'll say! You should see them when they got a match! They spend so much time going at it about dumb shit! 'Who's gonna start the match first' and 'Who's gonna enter first'. I told them they should just, you know, get a new entrance made for both of them, I thought they were gonna toss me for that one."

The two laugh it off as neither of them can imagine Charlotte and Bayley sharing an entrance. As their laughs eventually die down, Becky turns serious as she carefully studies her friend across the room.

"I also came to check on you." She says, tilting her head carefully as Sasha's movements momentarily falter. "See how you're doing with everything. It's coming up next, right?"

"It is," Sasha hums quietly. Having finished a brief touchup, she sets her liner pen down and braces her hands against the vanity. "It's stupid I'm this nervous, right? We've had matches before."

Becky thinks for a moment before she shrugs. "This one's different though…isn't it?"

Biting down on her bottom lip, Sasha hangs her head. "I didn't tell you about it, but we fought that night. I know that's kind of a given, but it was…it was bad, Becks. We haven't been speaking.

"Christ, Sash…I mean, I kind of had an idea 'cause of how she's been, but you know, I felt like it wasn't exactly my place to ask her. She's even had Baszler lookin' kind of uneasy, so I just figured you guys were working through some things. I didn't know it was like that."

"It has been. I just haven't you know…we haven't said anything. I haven't known what to say and she just seems…detached." Sasha pauses and lets out a mirthless laugh. "Now we've got this stupid match I'm supposed to go out there and focus on and I don't even know if I can."

"Hey…" Becky's voice is quiet as she unfolds from the couch and crosses the room. She reaches out and gently pulls Sasha into a hug. "I know nothing I can say will make it all go away, so I'm not gonna do that. What I am gonna do is tell you to go out there and do what you do best. Then after? After, I think you guys should work through things. You didn't tell me about it, but you don't have to. It's not my business. But whatever it is, is no doubt eating at the both of you and I dunno…the rest of us don't wanna see you guys beat yourselves up anymore. We care, you know?"

Sasha leans into the embrace, her cheek falling to rest against the leather of Becky's jacket. She knows that Becky's right and the right solution to everything would be just to talk it out, but in Sasha's mind, that's a lot easier said than done. "I'm not sure I'll know what to say…" she murmurs quietly.

"It'll come to you. Just speak your mind and remember to listen to her side too. That way things don't get, ya know, heated."

Sasha laughs quietly and pulls away. "It's nice to see it. You know, you guys actually caring about her."

At this, Becky exaggeratedly rolls her eyes. "Well, you went and married her, so you really didn't give us much of a choice." Her lips pull into her signature smirk. "Don't forget what I told you though. If you ever need me to beat her up for you…"

Sasha rolls her eyes and gives Becky a firm but playful shove. "How many times is she gonna have to kick your ass before you give up on that?"

"Hey! She keeps getting lucky. I'm just biding my time. You'll see!"

"Yeah, okay…" Sasha shakes her head before smiling gently. "Becky…thanks. For this. I really needed it."

Becky shrugs casually, but grins, nonetheless. "You know you don't ever have to ask. I'm gonna be here even when you don't want me!"

Sasha continues to laugh and shake her head even after she's left alone with her thoughts. Taking a deep breath, she crosses the room and grabs her belt from where she had carefully folded it in a nearby chair. Even now, she still can't contain the initial giddiness she gets from simply looking at it.

"You got it…" she whispers to herself one last time as she secures her belt around her waist.

* * *

Ronda has remained frozen for pretty much the duration of her entrance. She's stuck to the farthest side of the ring, with only her eyes tracking Sasha as she makes her way down the ramp. There's a split second where they do make eye contact, and the gusto of Sasha's entrance does threaten to falter, but as soon as it's there, and it's gone. For a moment, Ronda actually wonders if it's something she had actually imagined in the first place. It isn't until Sasha joins her in the ring and they're standing directly across from each other that she can see the physical and mental exhaustion that most definitely mirrors her own.

They move as one, passing their belts off to the ref as they take up their places in opposite corners. Where she would normally be bouncing from foot to foot to keep herself loose, Ronda remains still. In the opposite corner, Sasha reflects the same sentiment, a hand tightly gripping the nearest rope. Her nod of confirmation is trophic as she's asked if she's fit to compete.

The bell rings and at first, neither woman moves. Much like the audience and virtually anyone else who's watching, it's like they're both waiting with bated breath for the other to take that first step. Initially, they don't even meet in the middle. The first movements made are around the edge of the of the ring, slowly circling one another as if hesitantly testing the waters.

It's Sasha who makes the first move, chancing her own speed and momentum as they lock up in the very center of the ring. She finds herself backed into the nearest corner and held there until the referee's five count, and she's granted space to breath and recollect herself as Ronda doesn't press any further, but instead retreats back to the center of the ring.

Regathering herself, Sasha positions herself in the center where they lock up once again. This time, instead of jockeying for the upper hand, Sasha quickly shifts and uses her momentum to quickly sweep Ronda's legs out from under her. Successfully taking the other woman off guard, Sasha immediately goes for a pin, not at all surprise when the count is broken at one.

As the two straighten up, Sasha swears she can see just the feintest hints of a smirk on Ronda's face, but what it says, she can't exactly decipher. Not at the moment at least. She has a match to win.

* * *

The match is _long_ and both women can feel that in both their bodies and spirits as still no one has come out on top. It has all been nothing for business as they match one another move for move. In the later minutes of the match, they have both been inching closer to near fall after near fall as exhaustion is no doubt beginning to play a huge factor for the both of them.

Sasha's right arm hurt something terrible as the limb has been the unfortunate target of the night. The initial discomfort came off her own missed attempt at a springboard arm drag. The second she started to favorite it she _knew_ Ronda caught it, and from there, Sasha isn't at all surprise that her arm was the new source of Ronda's attention, and it was now set to be completely picked apart.

On any normal occasion, they would be joking with one another mid-match and Sasha would have definitely tossed out a smug demand for a hot bath and a massage after being targeted like this. But nothing had been said. The intensity has been all too great and the only verbal words spoken from either of them have come in the form of curses at just barely missing the win from a close pin.

Ronda's handicap is coming in the form of her back that has fallen victim to numerous backstabbers. In the back of her mind, she bitterly laughs to herself that she's most definitely setting a record tonight on how many of the damn thing's she's going to be able to take. She has absolutely no doubt that she won't be able to hardly move come morning.

The climax of the match comes in the form of a mistake on Sasha's part, and at first, Ronda is sure that she's imagining it.

It's a simple albeit desperate rollup attempt, nothing more and nothing less as Ronda finds her shoulders pressed into the mat. It's a simple kickout, but at the last second, she grabs hold of Sasha's injured arm she had been coincidentally been using as leverage. It's a transition she's studied a hundred times if for nothing else but how to avoid it. Now, she finds herself on the executing end of it as she pulls Sasha down onto the mat before locking in an all too familiar submission she's been the receiver of more times than she would like to admit.

Sasha has only been here _once_ before in her entire career and if you ask her, that was one time too many. But unlike Bayley's, Ronda's grip is _tight_ and Sasha now knows what it feels like to be on that lonely little island in the very center of the ring with absolutely nowhere to go. In a strange twist of irony, she would love nothing more than to pat herself on the back for being the standard with such a move, but being two seconds from fading out to your own finisher perhaps isn't the time for self-celebrations.

What aids Sasha is her years upon years of experience with submissions and her own sense of pride that absolutely prevents from being choked out with her own move. Having your own move against you as peak annoyance, but there is one thing that comes from it that no one ever things about. When it's _your_ move, you know all the ways to get out of it.

Taking a deep breath, Sasha musters up all of her strength to shift her weight backwards just enough to shift Ronda onto her back. She successfully tangles Ronda's arms in her own before flipping over her head, pinning her shoulders to the mat in what has got to be one of the most unique pins that she's ever attempted. Unique as it may be, it gets her the three count and even she's completely surprised as the bell rings, finally signaling the end of the match.

Ronda's eyes are wide in disbelief and she quickly slaps the mat as the realization of the loss sinks in. But it's the smile on Sasha's face as the ref holds her wrist high, that has her softening just a fraction, even behind her own in-ring façade. Their eyes meet again, this time with shared looks of uncertainty.

Making a split decision, Ronda quickly rolls out of the ring and heads towards the time-keepers area. Retrieving her own belt, she beckons for them to hand over the blue one as well and she takes a second to stare at the two weighted objects in hand. Nodding to herself, she turns back towards the ring, quickly taking each step before she ducks between the ropes. She once again stares down at the two belts in hand, gripping them tightly as she meets Sasha in the very center of the ring.

When their eyes meet this time, Sasha can see just the feintest hint of glassiness behind Ronda's. She's taken by surprise as she's handed her belt, and then pulled into a loving embrace that she's been without for such a short time, but still missed all the same. Briefly resting their foreheads together, Ronda reaches a hand up and gently strokes a thumb across Sasha's cheek just as she gives her hip a loving squeeze. When they separate, Ronda offers her a subtle nod before she's slowly exiting the ring to allow Sasha her moment to absorb her victory.

* * *

When Sasha finally makes it back to her dressing room, she's not at all surprised to find it occupied. Across the room, Ronda is leaning casually against her vanity, gaze angled at the floor as she appears to be deep in thought. The subtle twitch in her posture lets Sasha know she heard her enter, but from there, she doesn't move.

Swallowing thickly, Sasha softly shuts the door behind her. Shrugging her title off her shoulder, she gently rests it on the nearby sofa, but from there she doesn't opt to move. Instead, she remains by the door, absorbing the silence as this is the first time in a while that they've been completely alone with one another. It's a rarity for her, to not to know where to begin or what to say, and she finds herself all the more thankful when Ronda starts speaking first.

"Apologizing wouldn't be enough…" Ronda says quietly, shaking her head as she doesn't initially move her gaze from the floor. "The things I said to you that night…the way I made you feel…apologizing really wouldn't be enough."

Sasha's lips press together as she lets out a quiet breath, because that night had been difficult. It had been one of the hardest nights of her life as she stood there and took all of Ronda's words to heart. The worst part about it had been how she could see that Ronda had meant them, and she has never in her life wanted to disappear more than she had in that exact moment.

But it hadn't entirely been Ronda's fault, and Sasha knows that.

"I should've told you." Sasha carefully begins with a small shake of her head. "Not just about the match, but I should've told you about all of it. We haven't exactly been on the same page and I don't think either of us really realized it until this happened and it all just kinda…exploded on us."

Ronda nods almost sadly. "How's your arm?"

Sasha winces as she shakes some of the soreness out of the aforementioned limb. "You worked it pretty good. Nothing that can't be fixed with some ice and muscle relaxers I'm sure." When Ronda only nods again, Sasha knows that she has to take initiative in the conversation, or else she'll only be left useless as the other woman begins to retreat. "You know, for me it wasn't about the belt, right? I never really talked about it much but for me this is…it's my sense of self. Because I'm not like you, Ronda. I've never..." she pauses to huff frustratedly at herself as she tries to gather her words. "I've never just _had_ it like you. The overwhelming aura of victory and success, it's never been like that for me. I've always had to fight to be seen and heard and sure things have come and gone as they should, but at the end of the I always feel like I'm right back where I started. Having to fight and claw. Because all of this is who I am and while for you, I get that titles don't really matter, all they are is titles and accolades, but for me it's a reminder that I can be somebody. That I can _actually_ be somebody."

Sasha doesn't know when exactly she started crying, but as soon as she's stopped speaking, she's made aware of the way her throat has gotten tight and tear tracks have begun to stain her face. She reaches up to wipe her eyes, not giving a single damn about the makeup smudge that results. Her tears begin to flow more freely against her will and she begins to frantically wipe at them in a childlike attempt to make them stop. It isn't until her wrists are gently held that she stills. Looking up, she finds Ronda's eyes meeting her own, and her jaw trembles slightly as she's guided over to the sofa and pulled into her wife's lap.

"I had no idea…" Ronda whispers, reaching up to gently cup Sasha's face in her hands. "I had no idea and I should have just _asked_ and god, Sash I am so sorry…" she shakes her head as even her own apology doesn't feel like enough. "I know that doesn't take away the things I said to you, but I want you to know that I have never been prouder of you, you know that? You gave me absolute hell tonight and I saw this fire in you that I hadn't even realized you'd been missing. You deserve this, Sash, and I'm sorry that I was too stupid and selfish to realize it."

"You weren't selfish…" Sasha reaches up to grasp one of the hands at her cheek.

Ronda is quick to shake her head. "No, no…I was being selfish because I-I could only think about everything I wanted and how my plans changed and…you're right. We were completely on different planets, and I should've just asked you about it." Suddenly feeling nervous, she bites her lip as her eyes fall downcast. "The day you were supposed to come home I wanted to talk about some things with you. See where you kinda were with the idea of, you know, where we're headed and I was so focused on that that I just got overemotional."

Sasha momentarily wears a small frown of confusion, but Ronda's sudden anxiety has her eyes widening as it immediately dawns on her. "Ronnie…" she whispers.

"I mean, we really don't have to talk about it now. Especially since it seems like…I mean, I don't know. We can definitely wait to talk about it. I don't want to—"

Ronda is cut off by a kiss pressed against her lips. It's a little salty from the mixture of tears and sweat but leaves her warm to experience everything that is just plain _Sasha_ , and it's something she'll never get enough of. Sighing into the kiss, she brings her arms to wrap around Sasha's back as she tightly holds her closer.

"I do want a family with you," Sasha whispers against Ronda's lips as she holds their foreheads together. She reaches a hand up and gently combs her fingers through Ronda's hair before settling her hand at the base of her neck. "And one day, we will. _That_ is something I can promise you."

Ronda knows she shouldn't be shocked that Sasha had been able to read right through her. Her wide eyes are almost childlike as she shakily nods and accepts another kiss for before. "M'sorry for what I said…" she mumbles into the kiss. "I promise I'll make it up to you."

Sasha hums quietly. "You don't have to make that up to me…" she pecks Ronda's lips softly. "What you _will_ make up to me though, is your overwhelming audacity to use _my_ move."

Ronda's eyes widen momentarily, and she leans back to find Sasha smugly staring down at her. "You know when we got married, there was an agreement about us sharing stuff, right? You know, that whole 'what's yours is mine' clause?" she chuckles nervously when she only receives silence as a response. "Sasha, have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" more silence. "Sasha…? Baby…? Love of my life?"

Sasha can only roll her eyes. "You're so lucky I love you…" even as she says it in sarcasm, it doesn't stop the wide smile gracing her lips, and words can't even explain how much she missed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I...love these two so much T_T   
> Thanks for reading :)


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